If you want your friendships to grow, perhaps you need to be proactive and invest in them even more.

Many people I know report that we do not enough have time for friends, especially if we are busy with careers, partners or families. Keep in mind that small, but regular commitments can go a long way. Please consider: Weekly exercise/walk/yoga date with a friend; Monthly dinner date with a friend; Weekly phone call with a friend; Take a weekend class with a friend; What about a commitment to an annual Girls Weekend away? (even if that means just one night away!)

Spend More Time
Social Psychology studies show that “Proximity Leads to Liking”. So, spending more face to face time together really does make a difference in growing friendships. If you are someone who likes to exercise, what about asking a friend to join you in your exercise commitment? Running, walking, yoga or exercise classes with a friend is a great way to combine friendship time with fitness. If you like to read books, what about asking a friend to read the same book as you and have your very own private book club? How about asking a friend to do volunteer work with you? Yes, people are busy, but we need to prioritize our time with friends if we want them to become a more integral, satisfying aspect of our lives.

Be the Initiator
Many times friendships need to be given a chance to see if they will grow. Try increasing the amount of interaction you have with a friend. Let them know how much you appreciate spending time with them. Hopefully it will be mutual. Some of us are planners who like to initiate, organize and invite others. There is nothing wrong with you being a planner or pursuer. Often those people with the most satisfying friendships describe themselves as willing to invite often even if it is not reciprocated. So what if you call or email more often? Does your friend accept your invitations, and appear to have fun with you? Forget about keeping score. Maybe you are better at getting together, and your friend is better at something else. I find it helpful to accept that in many of my friendships, I am the organizer and the one who make things happen.

Take Emotional Risks
Do you take any emotional risks with your friends? Do you keep conversations casual and lighthearted? Do you let your friends know about your history, background, challenges and successes? Take a risk this year with a friend or two, and share some things that are more private and deeper. Let them know ahead of time if it is difficult for you, but that you would like to be more open and revealing with friends. Sharing private information deepens our emotional connection, intimacy and closeness.

Imagine the kind of friendships that you would like to have in your life. How important are friends to you?  How can you be more proactive about your friendships?

Do you Make Time For Friends? is a post from: Dr. Michelle Gannon

Psychologist Expert for Your Best Body Now is a post from: Dr. Michelle Gannon

What does it really mean to be happy? When you think of yourself and your life, are you being the person you want to be? Are you living a life that brings you joy and pleasure? Do you have satisfying relationships? Are you living your life according to your values and priorities? And if not… why not? Let’s see if we can make some changes together.

Like every other working mom, I feel stressed and pressured in my life. So much to do…Never enough time. As a psycholologist, I take care of people in my professional life, and as a mother/wife/daughter/friend I take care of others the rest of the time too. I lean towards perfectionism and workaholism, and I had an epiphany a few years ago when I turned 40 years old.

I do not need to be perfect. Actually perfectionism is over-rated. I need to be “good-enough”. Of course, I still try to do my best in whatever I do, but the difference is I am much kinder and more compassionate with my own flaws. When I think of my friends or clients sharing their imperfections, I am loving, kind and accepting towards them. I used to be much more judgmental and critical with myself than others. However, I realized that I need to be a better friend to myself. When my inner critic’s voice appears, I ask myself, “What would I say to a friend?” and I turn around and tell myself the same supportive message.

Many of us believe that in order to be the best wife, mother, employee or friend that we need to be self-sacrificing. Interestingly, that does not work. To take care of others, you need to first take care of yourself. Starting now, give yourself permission to make you the focus in your life for a change. If you take time and effort to nurture and refuel yourself, you will become a better partner, mother, friend, worker and more. We have to prioritize taking care of ourselves especially if we need to take care of others

When we think back to times in our life where we were the most happy and content, we can sometimes find keys to improve our present day happiness. What was happening then that we may have forgotten, overlooked or misplaced now? Are you happiest when you have personal time with others? Do you need more solitude or creativity outlets? Are you most happy when you are learning or exploring? Are you happiest when you feel healthy and strong in your body? Are you happier when you get more sleep? Are you happiest when you have more fun? Are you happiest when you have more romance?

I was hiking the other day with a good friend and our dogs. My friend has three children, and one of them is severely autistic. She is usually in a positive, sunny mood although her life is certainly not easy. When I asked her how does she do it? How does she stay so positive and happy? She calmly replied, “Yes, life is challenging, but I just prefer to live in the positive”. She has chosen to have a positive, happy attitude. Sometimes I think we are too loyal to our suffering. Yes, we need empathy and support, but sometimes we also need a gentle kick in the pants.

I propose that we make a commitment to support each other in becoming more happy and content with our lives. Let’s act the way we want to feel. One step at a time…let’s take charge of our moods – We deserve to be happy.

For more tips on taking care of yourself, check out “Preventions Not Prescriptions” on The Kathleen Show.

Happiness – Take Charge of Your Mood is a post from: Dr. Michelle Gannon